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Tuesday, December 21, 2010

how i spent my birthday.... LOL...

i think i'm gonna disable the spam comments filter thing... i miss the death threats and hate mail... so let me know what's on your mind... even if you hate me... i don't care... thx...

For some reason, I’m bummed out… all kinds of bad shit is flowing thru my head… first of all, I’m sick, and didn’t feel like going anywhere today… I just wish I would’ve stayed in my room all day long… I don’t know what it is… I kind of don’t want to get into details… but I’m kind of tired of being me… what’s the use of me being so loud, if no one ever takes my advice or listens to what I have to say… I’ll just start staying quiet…

Fuck… right now I’m listening to my stupid ex-brother in law complaining about my nephew… fuck him, it’s his fault that he’s a horrible father… that shit drives me nuts… why can’t I tell him that all of this shit is caused because he doesn’t know shit about raising a kid..? I actually feel sorry for him… but fuck him… he’s an asshole… that’s why he can’t walk without crutches… karma is a bitch, and he got punished for some reason right…? Look at him… he’s pathetic, and is gonna suffer all his life… I wonder what he did to deserve this… let me think about what I know he’s done… um… one, he sells drugs… he brought drugs into my house once… I hated him for it… we didn’t’ get nothing out of the deal or anything… I’m not gonna be a hypocrite and say that I never say I didn’t get involved with dealing drugs… but I did it for a couple of days… but this dude has been doing it for years… Imagine all of the kids that smoke his shit, get sick, or die from his drugs…? That right there deserves to lose the ability to walk like a normal human being…

Another thing, he’s the reason my sister first got into drugs… he drugged her… got her addicted bad… she was lost… started stealing and all kinds of crazy shit for it… and he did it because that way she wouldn’t leave him… that right there makes him the scum of the earth… I hate him for that, and I will never forgive him… it eats the inside of me knowing that he did this to my sister… she went homeless, went in and out of jail a couple of times, and was living in tents on the side of the freeway… she ended up getting with this other loser, and had 4 kids with him this way… the first three were taken away from her… and now they’re mine… not to sound like an asshole, but kids were not in my game plan… I hate kids… but what am I gonna do…? Let these kids get lost in the system and be taken away to some strange houses… fuck that… if someone’s gonna fuck these kids up it’s gonna be my crazy sister and I… LOL…

Part of the worst thing about him is the way he treats my nephew… whenever he comes over my heart drops… his dad can’t take care of him the way we were taken care of… or even the way his dad was taken care of… he had everything when he grew up… but now I see my nephew coming over to my house hungry as fuck… I hate that… that’s one thing that just grinds my gears… it’s so easy to feed your kids… don’t you sell drugs mother fucker…? WTF do you do with the money…? Jeez us… well fuck it… like I say, that’s life… I can’t go around complaining about stuff I can’t do anything about… although I might be able to do something about this… but maybe it’s too late… and I can’t afford to take in a teenager… fuck that jazz… I can barely take care of my teenager lifestyle… amirite…¿

I think I’m going to go nuts soon… I can’t stop thinking about certain shit… like, I really need to start riding my bike again… big time… I lost some muscles in my legs, and chest… that’s what’s bugging me the most… my boobies are all flabby now… LOL… I know I’m not one of those peoples that are all into their looks or body… but having a bit of muscle does kick ass… maybe I should start working out…? Fuck that… LOL… that’s for faggots… and you know it’s true… my dad never went to the gym and he’s a fucken MAN!... hahaha… if I get fit and everything, that would suck… I hear skinny people get cold all fast and I’m not into wearing pants or knitted sweaters casually…

Btw, my dad came over yesterday… he stood the night… seems that he is going thru some shit with his new wife… she left him… he didn’t have an appointment or a valid reason to come over and spend the night, he just came I guess to see us… he wanted to get away… I went to the store with him for a throw rug… he wanted one… so I said, let’s go… he told me that she wanted to go live with her daughter that is going to have a baby… fuck… that’s a poor ass excuse to leave someone… right…? Fuck her then… she took all of the furniture and even his tv and stuff… what a bitch… she’s lucky I don’t go and visit them over in that garbage dump of a country… yeah, they live in Mexico… LOL…

I told him… if she’s old enough to open her hairy legs and get pregnant she could take care of her own spawn herself… but she just wanted to jam I guess… and he shouldn’t feel bad… plus, there are other bitches out there… my dad isn’t ugly, and he’s fucken rolling in money… what dirty Mexican lady isn’t gonna want to suck that man’s dick…? Shiet… he feels like he’s too old… but I told him… if I had his money, I would do the same shit… get some young biatch, buy her some fancy things and fuck her for the time being… amirite…? Why the fuck not… he was like, nah, I’m not like that, wu wu wuu… asjkl;fjasklfsapdfaslkdfjkl; dammit, why can’t people live out their animalistic prowess’s…? we are freaken animals and are supposed to fuck everything that walks… we all suppress the wrong shit…

I feel bad for my dad… he’s in his house all alone with his two dogs… he came and saw my chickens… he loved my mini urban farm… he used to have chickens before I was born in this house… I guess it struck him with nostalgia because he started talking to me about my mother… we said stories and stuff, relaxed outside a bit and went for lunch afterwards… that was a very nice moment… I will remember it forever… it’s a shame it is one of a few times that I can say I enjoyed spending with my father… I wish everything was different… but it’s not… I came out all psychotic and somewhat weird and shit… why couldn’t I be normal and have a normal relationship with my family… dysfunction is the only thing I know… chaos and lament… like a PH13 rated rob zombie flick… with some fail…

I think my dad is going to sell his giant pad in mexico and come back… I hope he does… gets rid of that jack ass roger and I can see him more than just once a month… maybe it’s not too late to have a relationship with my father… I would want to take him fishing, to some farms to pick up some chickens, maybe to a reef event or pet expo… let him see what my passions really are… I hope these aren’t false hopes… what if he comes and it’s just like before… ignoring problems and hours of yelling/pointing fingers…. You wanna know what really sucks…? The fact that I am just like my dad… I’m angry, mean, weird, psycho, and funny… but I’m also social… maybe my dad was social like me once… then he had kids… fuck… LOL… oh well… that’s enough for now… I wonder if james read all of this… leave a comment james and stop lurking… zing!!!...


December 18 2010


So I just opened up Microsoft word and all kinds of people started texting and IM’ing me… bastards… oh well… I just want to start off by saying that I’m going to go back to my OG style of blog… you know… where I just talk all kinds of shit about people or stuff that I hate… I’m tired of people I know going up to me and say shit like, “omg I didn’t know that you blah blah blah…” fuck… I don’t care if you read my blog… but I already typed this mother fucker up… I know what I typed up… I’m not stupid… I’m the one that spent half an hour typing this shit up… I don’t need you or anyone else telling me about it… if you read it just say, hey I read your blog, and I’ll be like… cool… then we’ll start talking about fish or chickens or how much chris cornell fucken sucks… if you do that, mother fucken thank you…

So it’s my birthday… yeah I know… I’m fucken old… twenty and nine years old… what have I done with my life…? Absolutely nothing… LOL… I’m here blogging in the living room… ghost in the shell is on TV… the reef tank is to my left… it’s fucken raining outside and it’s pissing me off… and I think jeff buckley is playing on iTunes… let me check… yep… Dink’s song by jeff buckley off of the live at Sin-e… bomb ass album… everyone reading this should buy they… fuck, I had planned what I was gonna talk about, but I just now forgot… fuck… I feel like shit… just finished eating a giant cupcake… I really shouldn’t have done that… I hate being sick… I wish I was healthier and not so insane… I really should be finding out how I’m going to build this incubator…

I hate the rain… it’s cool… shit grows after it stops ‘cause I don’t’ water my yard or trees… LOL… but I feel like I can’t do shit… I hate it… I can’t build or do stuff outside… just feeding my chickens today was a huge pain in the ass… I want to go to Lancaster too to check out some chickens and maybe bring home a couple… but again… I don’t want to drive so damn far in the rain… anything can happen… no bueno… that’s how horror movies and some gay porn videos start… OMG talking about stupid horror movies… hold on… let me start a new paragraph…

Fuck man… stupid roger… I have never hated anyone more than this fucker… shit… sometimes I feel like poisoning his beers that he has in the fridge… seriously… he was watching the hitcher or something… I guess some movie about a hitch hiker and he kills these people for no fucken reason… how the fuck can you sit in front of a TV to a movie like that… that’s not stupid…? What the fuck is wrong with this retard… seriously… what goes on thru his head… that all of that stuff is cool…? Does he really want to kill someone like that…? By tying them to a semi and a trailer..? maybe he believes that there are people out there that really do go around killing people in some awesome three stooges trickery that they show in these movies… I can talk bad about the movie in front of him, but he will still sit there and watch it… fuck… and when I put on scott pilgrim, or even moon (not the gay vampire one, but the sam Rockwell masterpiece) he walks out of the living room… that a total retard… fuck… did I mention that I hate him and want to poison his beers…?

Shit… I hate stupid people, and god has cursed me with a retard like this for a brother in law… wtf did I do to deserve this…? Is it because I killed all kinds of cats…? I thought god hated cats… HAHAHAHA... enough about god… don’t get me started on that myth… but I really hate this kid… the sad part is that he likes me… he tells nena all of the time that he wishes I would talk to him like before… shiet… he’s a retarded moran… there’s no way I’m going to talk to that retard again… what am I gonna talk about…? All he does is drink beer and listen to rap music… how can you live such an ignorant lifestyle without wondering how life would be if you didn’t get hi/drunk and listen to garbage…? Oh well…

Shit… i didn’t get to put up this entry on time… LOL, I totally forgot about it… nothing important happened, but I just forgot to put it up… might as well start up another one… hold on…

So I was freaken bored today… it’s like Tuesday or something… xmas is this Saturday… I went to home depot to spend some cash on the incubator, and then wanted to swing by walmart to get a salad and some other shit… fucken ay… a quarter of a mile before the parking lot, there was sick traffic… it took me twenty five minutes to reach the parking lot… mother fucken poor Mexican last minute shopping fuckers… damnit… I just got in the parking lot and asked nena what else she wants… she wanted a salad… so I said, fuck that… what the fuck was the entire world doing at that walmart at that time…? It was ridiculous... and all I wanted was a freaken salad… imagine the lines inside the store…? Hells no… there’s no way I was gonna stand in a line surrounded by mutants and mouth breathers… I hate people already, that would’ve just send me over the top… I don’t want to have a heart attack at that store… I hate this store… hate it… I hope it dies… srsly… fuck you walmart, I hope you die forever…

Man, I hate the rain… all of my chickens are soaked… they’re all covered in mud and stuff… it’s stupid… I feel bad for those fuckers, but I’ve been reading threads in BYC and I’m not the only one… seems that us Californians don’t build our coops/pens with rain in mind… c’mon… it only rains like for one or two days straight max, and only several times a year… this thunderstorm is a 7 day system… now everything is fucking up… my roof is leaking, the cages are all warped, the wood expanded… this shit is straight out stupid… all kinds of stuff is ruined… the chicken food is getting wet… it’s horrible… absolutely horrible… I also have to finish my incubator, but I can’t work on it or anything… I also need to calculate everything to see how much this thing is costing me… if it’s less than a bill, I win… even if I don’t hatch shit… LOL… a cheapie piece of shit incubator starts at a bill… and something like mine goes for like 4-6 bills… so far I think I spent 50 bucks on it… I dunno yet… need to crunch numbers…

Well that’s enough of this… I’m getting tired of typing, and don’t have anything more to say… I’m kind of just babbling off here… see you in a couple of days…

2 comments:

BenJoBubble said...

Yo Gumbiii ... You know what? SamDaDawg is smiling right now. Do you remember him? He's here in our hearts, you know? And we used to read to him and he would've dug your blog. We miss that fucker. Keep writing, man. It's good. My absolute FAVORITE line of all time will forever be: "Let me start a new paragraph" ... That shit was deep. Seriously.

Big grins & hugs, SamDaDawg's peeps.

www.sociopathologie.com
@benjobubble

Anonymous said...

Dude another blog allready please...

smooches James aka lurking